Real Love and Sex
Real love seeks what is truly the best for oneself and for others — it strives to obtain the ultimate well-being of every person. Real love is self-sacrificing and unselfish.
What is real love in marriage? Real love keeps its promises. In marriage, spouses promise to be faithful, to welcome children, and to love each other “unto death do us part.” Using one’s sexuality in keeping with the marriage vows is part of real love in marriage.
In marriage, spouses have said to one another, “I accept all of you, I give my life to you. I have made a life-long commitment to you. I will love our children and I am committed to you and to them for life.” In this context, the intimate mutual self-giving of sex makes sense. A husband and wife have given their lives to each other, and sexual intercourse is a physical expression of that love.
With sexual intimacy in marriage, a couple gains:
- True bonding with one another
- Happy children who are raised in a secure and stable home
- Emotional stability
Marital intimacy fulfills the longings of your sexuality, creates true unity with your spouse, and promotes unselfish love between husband and wife. When motivated by an unselfish, self-sacrificing love, marital relations are one aspect of real love!
Having sex outside of marriage basically is saying, “I am only going to be around as long as I feel like it, or as long as it is convenient for my pleasure. I am not promising to be there for you tomorrow, or next year. I am not willing to make a commitment to you, but I am willing to use your body.” Is this real love?
With sex outside of marriage, she risks:
- Increased likelihood of depression
- Serious health risks, if taking the birth control pill or shot
- Contracting STDs and harming her fertility (i.e. future ability to have children)
- Becoming a single mother
With sex outside of marriage, he risks:
- Weakening his manliness and becoming a slave to lust
- Contracting STDs and harming his fertility (i.e. future ability to have children)
- Long-term emotional baggage
Pre-marital sex leads to destruction, not to fulfillment. Sex outside of marriage is not real love.